Perhaps the place we part.
I doubt it though
no matter any of his faults he holds my love as precious to him. His heart knows mine as if they're connected sans time.
Plus he's the one who actually fucked me right way back on my wedding night...and still stiffens each time he is near.
In retrospect that is worth more than I ever thought or felt / knew to assign value to.
Ah love. Such a crazy fucked up thing are you; and whatever would life be without you.
August 26 at 1:54pm near Oakland ·
As I move towards closing down this chapter of my life as I knew it and shared minute portions it with you my facebook friends I want you to please know nothing I put on facebook is about you unless I implicitly tagged you. And I don't say that to be a jerk or edgy or anything; I say that to raise general awareness of the separation/isolation from each other facebook actually has even while appearing to have the opposite effect. It brings out the showboat in all of us and as an individual who has had access to online forums since modems were still connected to telephones connected to the land...I am an expert. So anything I say about online interrelation can be taken as expert opinion. The fact that I capitalized all my words, paid attention to my sentence structure or any other such detail oriented way to marginalize my thinking does not mean anything more than the fact that I was educated within a colonial educational system that teaches its students to seek approval for such minute things. ee cummings may not be a super hero but he was a super critical thinker. I also wanted to be clear that I do want to continue this discussion, both with those of you I know "IRL" now and in the future... and those of you I do not. As I examine how this transition really plays out you can likely anticipate more of this type of atypical facebook status update from me however as "writing more so everyone will stfu" is a large part of my new chapter in life, I feel I will eventually formalize and perhaps even capitalize off these abilities I have and do not always choose to use. I think I will likely set up a formal blog where I can perhaps help fund my journey to seek refuge with pema chodran and from life as a fat radical ally of any who ask queer femme ungendered switch verse hella hipster activist of awesomeness and it all in oakland to that quiet version of me who exists in the future in Nova Scotia and still scares the living daylights out of me. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BE QUIET YOU MEAN THIS IS NOT QUIET WHAT DID YOU SAY I COULD NOT HEAR YOU OVER MY OWN MIND shit is that a run on sentence up there what is ....
I need to get back to the planning board of the mind (and eat some lunch) that said, this prayer by Thich Nhat-Hanh involves you facebook. I need to figure out if this means I am becoming a buddhist because honestly as a lifelong agnostic who has recently become very aware she is deeply spiritual and always has been "picking a team" makes me uncomfortable and I need to figure this part out as my inner Montessorian is telling me is so And were there a way for me to tag each of you individually with less than 1000 keystrokes I promise you I would. In the meantime no matter your spiritual beliefs please let this prayer from someone who has done more for world peace than we can ever properly thank him for fill your day with more interconnectedness on a tangible level not just the current Candy Crush Saga level *wink wink* and perhaps a thought or two about why someone like me would choose to seek out refuse with someone like her in a world like this. I mean if you like and when you get a chance or whatever.
I love you all.
(And some more than others, yes... I am looking at you ♥)
At the foot of the Bodhi tree, beautifully seated, peaceful and smiling,
the living source of understanding and compassion, to the Buddha I go for refuge.
The path of mindful living, leading to healing, joy, and enlightenment,
the way of peace, to the Dhamma I go for refuge.
The loving and supportive community of practice, realizing harmony, awareness, and liberation,
to the Sangha I go for refuge.
I am aware that the Three Gems are within my heart, I vow to realize them.
I vow to practice mindful breathing and smiling, looking deeply into things.
I vow to understand living beings and their suffering, to cultivate compassion and loving kindness,
and to practice joy and equanimity.
I vow to offer joy to one person in the morning and to help relieve the grief of one person in the afternoon.
I vow to live simply and sanely, content with just a few possessions, and to keep my body healthy.
I vow to let go of all worry and anxiety in order to be light and free.
I am aware that I owe so much to my parents, teachers, friends and all beings.
I vow to be worthy of their trust, to practice wholeheartedly,
so that understanding and compassion will flower,
and I can help living beings be free from their suffering.
May the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha support my efforts.
unable to deal with the sad lack of absurdity of the new york times falling "victim" to their corporate culture after seeing an article Julie Delio posted about something shady and fucking underhanded some man did for some greedy persuit in the accident a terrorist did not cause so it got covered less in texas even though it was just as tragic and scary as the contrived happenings in boston i feel as if i am left with no other choice then to engage in the theatre of the absurd. i mean rape culture is absurd, the kyriarch and their ability to still fucking snow over americans to this day is also pretty fucking absurd, but this dude... this "politician"?? now he is the lead in this sponsored by the koch brothers and brought to you by cogniative dissonce productions level of absurd. i challange you to a duel weird kyriarch motherfucker. you me and the ghost of hunter s tompson. COME AT ME BRO
that said, getting mered with shane was probably damn near the smartest fucking move of my life. i have far outdone myself this time in my selection process and ability to have dumb fucking luck in love because "my best self" would have done already overthought herself into fucking this up somehow.
i wonder how i can get elder_quakers to quit acting like a big fucking baby or a dickhead boy or mentally ill individual living near far too many other incompatibly mentally ill types to pay attention to me long enough to let me tell his dumb ass i want his sperm because he is the last cisgendered male on the planet who also fucked divadolly and anyone who was actually alive and FRIENDS or EVEN MET us knew that wonderful mama would be all up in this futurebaby superhero future and her legecy alone is part of WHY futurebaby has the (damn near already actualized) potential to be a motherfucking super hero. anyway i need to talk to you dylan. please thank you and um yeah anyway.
in other juicy thought of lj's past news, i should go check weev's journal since even though i have mixed feelings on weev and his antics, i actually care about all humans and hope that andrew gets something out of prison that teaches him as many next level lessons about life because the more actualized and improved fuckups coming out of fucked up institutions like the PIC the faster such fucked up insitions shall fall. mark my words.
that said just to really smite some of the respect for the less0ns you boys have taught me re: the www i am so going old skool and making this post public.
what. never forget your roots.
- Current Mood: calm
- Current Music:options- pedro the lion
it was super cute, in his way.
"no, no yr right. u don't hoarde. u have little stashes and they are important to you. it is a rock from him or some seaweed from her and some stone from a magic sunset and it is just yr stuff"
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
- Current Location:US, California, Oakland, Alameda, 47th St, 737
It’s another category that can sometimes feel esoteric. To me, beauty is a celebration of everything in our lives- even the stuff that we shove deep down in hopes of never seeing that “ugliness” again- it’s the organic substance that fuels our gorgeous smile, and breathtaking laugh. Beauty in its rawness can’t be faked.
1. You are beautiful when you are afraid to do something, and you do it anyway.
2. If you have been to hell and back, your resilience is beautiful.
3. Beauty is a daring action. One that is built on your authentic intention instead of being attached to the outcome.
4. Asking questions—especially “why?”—is always beautiful. Why? Because curiosity is beautiful.
5. If you can string words together into a sentence, and you’re brave enough to let someone else read it, that’s beautiful.
6. Flat stomachs are beautiful, absolutely, but big, soft bellies are beautiful, too.
7. It is beautiful to speak another language. It is beautiful to try.
8. Beauty is putting paint on canvas, or strumming a guitar, or capturing a stunning moment in a picture, or dancing with your eyes closed.
9. Creating is always beautiful.
10. Your eyes are beautiful. Nobody else has eyes like yours. They are deep and authentic and instantly recognizable.
11. Beauty is being brave enough to embrace your feelings- the good, the bad, and the ugly. To open yourself to the possibility that there is something magnificent there.
12. Remember the time your best friend called you crying? Because only your voice could calm her down? That was beautiful.
13. Beauty is laughing so hard your stomach hurts and you’re yelling, “Stop! Seriously, I’m peeing!” Yes. Peeing your pants can be beautiful.
14. Beauty is not letting ignorance be mistaken for truth. Even if you’re the one in the dark.
15. Beauty is calling someone out for saying something hurtful, even if you weren’t the one getting hurt.
16. Your legs are beautiful. No, really. They are. Admire the curve of your calves, the muscles in your thighs, the peaks and valleys of your knee.
17. Letting go of a toxic relationship? Ah, what a beautiful relief!
18. You are beautiful when you rock out so hard at a concert that your neck is sore the next day.
19. Intelligence is beautiful.
20. Humor. There is nothing more beautiful than laughter.
21. Compassion is very, very beautiful.
22. Beauty is wearing an outfit so fierce that when people compliment you on it you say, “I know, right?” and then, “Oh, I mean, thank you.”
23. Strong opinions are beautiful.
24. Respecting other people’s strong opinions is beautiful too.
25. Beauty is your hometown, whether you love it or hate it, because it helped shape you who you are.
26. Beauty is telling a joke only you think is funny and laughing so hard nobody can hear the punchline.
27. Walking away from a relationship –Platonic or romantic because you know its the only way to truly love them is to stop trying to change them, and let them be who they are. That is most beautiful.
28. Deep breaths are beautiful.
29. Listening is beautiful. Choosing to respond instead of react- even if you don’t want to hear it- trusting that there is always something valuable in someone else’s words.
30. Your bare face in the morning is beautiful. Ask the people that love you. It’s true.
31. The way our bodies tell the truth—we blush when we are attracted to someone, we blink twice when we lie, we get sick when we’re pushing our mental limits—is beautiful.
32. Having faith in someone else’s word, because we know we’ve been true to our own. That is beautiful.
33. Beauty is being comfortable enough with someone else to be silent. As the character Sherry Anne in the movie Best In Show put it, “We could talk or not talk forever and still find things to not talk about.”
34. Beauty is being able to walk gracefully in high heels.
35. Beauty is digging your bare feet into the sand.
36. Beauty is sitting very still with your thoughts.
37. It is beautiful to find the strength to ask for help when you need it. No matter how successful you are. We all feel like we’re drowning sometimes, and we would all be glad to pull you from the rapids.
38. Beauty is loving your pet as much as they love you.
39. Beauty is a fresh flower in your hair.
40. The physical remnants of our life experiences—stretch marks, scars, wrinkles, and sun spots—are beautiful.
41. Wisdom is beautiful.
42. Humility is beautiful.
43. Beauty is the sweaty satisfaction of a hard workout- moving your body in the way it was meant to.
44. It is beautiful to finally tell someone your secret.
45. It is beautiful to turn the worst night into the funniest story- the ability to see the humor in the darker, sometimes neglected parts of our life.
46. Beauty is being able to truly enjoy the food you eat.
47. It is beautiful to be grateful to all the strong people who came before you: the ones who raised you, the ones who fought for your rights, the ones who were burned at the stake because they were too powerful.
48. Giving birth is beautiful. (Messy, but beautiful.) Rebirth- as many times as necessary- is also beautiful.
49. Freedom is beautiful. You are free to fill your life with the things that make you happy. You have a choice.
50. Happiness is beautiful. Never be ashamed of being happy.
i surround myself with friends who are better than me in social relations and well, everything....who embody traits i wish to instill inmyself, who are brilliant in ways that often confuse me and challenge me. i love people and talking often to my own detriment and would not be the person i am today without my abject luck in finding amazing friends and taking the time and energy to be in life. social networking has its (examined) place and really i get why ppl don't "like" ppl but the more tender underbelly you are willing to show the more love mercy and generosity you get.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
- Current Location:US, California, Oakland, Alameda, 47th St, 847